Last night I was having “one of those” nights… I am allowed those ever so often, so I am told… Anyways, whenever I feel that way, I like to think about the “good” that comes along with CF… and I was quickly reminded of a situation last year, that I would like to share with you…
I had been on a bout of antibiotics and just been released from “the pen”, with my PICC in, I decide that I am going to go for the night to celebrate my release!!! LOL!!! I am not a big partier and come the end of the night, I am over taken by guilt and decide I am going to drink enough water to “rinse myself clean”… BAD IDEA!!! What I didn’t know is that if you drink enough water, you can actually die from depletion of sodium in your body… I remember it so clearly, I was just not feeling right and then started hallucinating so I called 911… The ambulance showed up and gave me O2 and a warm blanket because I was heading into shock… I was coming in and out of  and kept telling myself to stay awake so I don’t die… I knew I was dying and it was the scariest consciousness!!! I remember there being so many people and I was freaking out, I kept screaming at the top of my lungs that I didn’t want to die!!! The nurses kept telling me I needed relax, how could I??? The fear in everyone’s eyes just made me more afraid… I finally took a deep breath and turned it over to God, I told him I wasn’t ready to die, I still had so much life to live… Right as I turned it over, Dana walked in… I begged her not to let me die… She told me she was going to do everything in her power, but I needed to relax… It was so weird how afraid to relax I was… But I trusted in her… The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital connected to all these machines… The doctor came in and explained he could not explain why I had not died… Normal Sodium levels are around 137 and they consider 120 fatal… I was at 117!!! He said I should be a complete vegetable or dead… I had purpose and that is why I am still here… Breathe 4 Tomorrow Foundation is my purpose…
Over the next few days I thought about it and I am convinced that because of our sodium CF stuff, that I am here today… I  am thankful once again for this disease I have… Not only has it made me the strong woman I am, but I do believe that CF saved my life…

Tags: CF, Cystic Fibrosis, death, life, Near death experience